My beginning blog, that got lost in the shuffle…

October 21, 2015

“All great ideas and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.”
~Albert Camus
Labor Day 2015. I woke up in the twin bed I used to sleep in at my parents’ house. My best friend got married the night before and their house was closer than mine was. 

Upon waking I did whatever aging millennial does; I checked Facebook for pictures. Right there in black and white was a picture of their ceremony. I was standing there doing my duties as one of the maids of honor, gazing at the couple lovingly, looking like the hippo from Fantasia; except the pink tutu was replaced with a beautiful jersey bridesmaid’s dress in the color Oasis.

I gasped in horror. Is that what I really looked like? Did I really get to be that big? I mean, I know I’m no [insert whatever celebrity is the new skinny] but I didn’t realize my girth could give Shamu a run for her money. I sat in stunned silence for a few moments as the tears started to well up in my eyes. I threw open my bedroom door, much reminiscent of my adolescent years, and found my mother sitting on the couch. I shoved my phone in her face and through crocodile tears I said to her “look at this mom, look at it.”

Once she realized what I was trying to show her, she asked me to sit down so we could talk about it. I wanted to regress to that little girl that would lay my head in her lap as she stroked my hair until I stopped crying. Instead I acted like the 34 year old woman I needed to be and sat on the sofa facing her. With tears still streaming down my cheeks and with a look of heartbreak and confusion I asked her.

“Mom, when did I get this big?”
I was always active growing up, so despite how much I weighed, I was always solid. I was a big kid, but I was never “fat.” Over the past few years my inactivity and less than stellar lifestyle has caught up with me and although I’ve seen the “fat” creeping in, I never really noticed it until now.

That afternoon I met with my therapist to discuss what I was feeling about myself and my weight. I was fortunate enough a handful of years ago to be directed towards my therapist, let’s call her Etta, when I was struggling with anxiety and depression. Etta is also a weight loss therapist and has been a blessing during my struggles over the years. For almost 45 minutes she listened to me cry and I devised I plan.

A couple weeks prior, I had been talking with one of my coworkers about trying the 21 Day Fix. You know the infomercial with the colored containers and everyone looks so happy and healthy? Yes, that 21 Day Fix. . I had ordered it after we initially talked and it was at my house, still sitting in the box. I was overwhelmed and afraid to fail, but after this post wedding meltdown, what choice did I have?

 The next day I walked up to my coworker and said “let’s do it!”
So here I am a month later. I’ve lost 11 pounds so far and have a new lease on life. I will talk about what happened during that month in my next post.

 A great thought came from that ridiculous beginning, and I couldn’t be happier!